Dead Souls She Ones Loved [Words I Kept Under My Pillow]

I wished I was young

I wanted to go home but not into that box made of four bricked walls or a white ceiling on the top

The throught of it gives me the creeps I do admit that I am scared to be lost again and never be found

I know it's too late to say goodbye

But I wanted to stab nails into my ribs and lungs at some point

So that I don't fell the pain and suffocate and die breathing the same intoxicating air again

I don't even remember the last time you smiled so generously it light up the whole sky

I wanted you to be mine at some point but is it really ok even if I have to drink poison to achive it?

I wanted it so desperately that I missed all the red marks you engraved onto my skin

I ignored how you rolled your eyes at my presence or smiled with disguised whenever I laughed with all my heart

I wanted you so desperately I never thought you weren't THE one for me

I wanted you, yes, I wanted you and still do but do you need me the way I desperately want you?

I wished for time to stop whenever you smiled looking at me but I was naive to believe a soul like me could ever be the cause of it

I needed to look pretty so you could like me but forgot the outer pretty will fadeaway replaced by curves and lines you don't like

I wished to grow old with you but never knew you didn't wanted to grow old

I guess I was the only one in love while you were in like.

Maybe just maybe I want to believe that you liked me and that is why you stayed otherwise you would have left

Which you did eventually, leaving me smiling.